Losing a baby- in any way, whether it is through a terrifying miscarriage or a painful child loss or stillbirth, changes a person terribly and emotionally. After a miscarriage, your grief can be so destructive that you wonder if you will ever be happy again. There is no other painful journey forcouples who are trying and not being able to. Every day they are breaking into million pieces and putting themselves back together to start a new day with new hope because time and comfort are often the best healers. Sometimes it helps to understand the sorrow and mourning process that accompanies a miscarriage, and to know what you can do to start coping with your loss. Here’s how to begin:

Take aside yourself: This is general to feel fragile to talk about your miscarriage or to deal with other people’s reactions. Many people do not realize how deep a loss miscarriage is and many may say things like “Don’t worry, you can try again”, “it’s not your fault”. Nobody can understand how hurtful people are with their attempts at comforting a woman who has been through a miscarriage. They are not aware of how you are feeling and cannot fully comprehend your pain.To cope with these, ask your friend, relative, or coworker to tell others not to discuss it.

Stop blaming yourself: During your healing process, friends and relatives may pressure you to move on, get over things, or return to your regular life. But don’t feel as if you need to comply until you are ready. Your pain is a normal response to the profound loss you have suffered, and you need not blame yourself or apologize to anyone for how you feel.Miscarriage can feel you powerless and guilt but it is very important to take step in relieving your guilt. You may be able to turn your self-blaming tendencies into something positive if you are able to think fora positive change.

Seek support: It may help to talk with someone who has been through the same experience or it will be wise to join a support group that meets regularly. It is known that after a miscarriage, a woman’s hormone levels change rapidly. Thus, many women experience mood swings or depression. If you are having trouble dealing with these emotions, talk with your doctor who can refer you to a counselor if necessary. Moreover, ask your friends and relatives to help with household chores, like laundry, cooking or errands or gardening. Try to make a good conversation with them. It can help to lighten some of your day-to-day responsibilities. Hence, ask for understanding, comfort, and support and seek counseling to help both yourself and your partner.

Spread the awareness: Miscarriage is not caused by moderate exercise or sex. Many couples experience miscarriages. Once you face it, you definitely know the possible causes of it. It is very important for married couple to know about it. Do not think that you are alone if you have had a miscarriage recently. If you feel up to it, educate the people about pregnancy loss. Make your neighbor, relative, friend aware of it. For instance, suggest them to read a book on the subject, such as A Silent Sorrow — Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family by Ingrid Kohn, Perry-Lynn Moffitt, and Isabelle A. Wilkins (Routledge) so that they can be more conscious before planning for a baby.

Think about the future: Generally pregnant ladies always get so attached early with kids. Immediately after a miscarriage, you may find it hard to be around friends and relatives who are pregnant or have babies. You can feel too painful to see them. To avoid such pain,give yourselfpermission not to visit. Tell them that you still consider them dear, adore them too, but this is a difficult time for you and it is just too hard to see them now. Also, think about how you feel before accepting or attending any invitations to a baby showeror first birthday party. But it is better if you accept your problem and go ahead because if you see babies, it may help you to forget your loss.Try to accept the situation and consider the future.Many partners can have been through more than one miscarriage, they might begin thinking about how much loss you can bear. At this case, you will need to discuss with your partner whether you want to continue trying or consider adopting a baby, or if you can feel comfortable living your life without children.

Always occupy yourself: Try to think about anniversaries, holidays and occasions. You may feel sadder than usual at this time. Thus, if needed take the day off, attend a program, or make the day in some special way. Holidays may be difficult after a miscarriage too. If you’re grieving, think about quietly observing the holiday at home or attending any activities. Make yourself busy and involve in different activities like gardening, cooking, shopping, meeting with friends and family.